Right from the beginning of this world marriage has been an institution that cannot be neglected. It is so interesting to know that marriage is not common but the rate of divorce globally has made it so cheap. It is horrible when you walk into the courts these days and experience shocking reasons why couples decide to divorce.
If I may ask why do people marry in the first place? Most men married because they were enticed by the physique of their wives, some married because of the affluence and influence, some due to family ties, she is a star or educated, some married because they feel they are of age, some due to sentiments while some married because of the lady’s career or position. A lot of people marry for a lot of reasons.
Now let me tell you why divorce is not necessary or why you divorced in the first place.
1. You divorced your spouse because all your expectations were not met.
2. Because you were not patient enough to understand your spouse.
3. You couldn’t forgive even when there was an apology.
4. You believed your spouse was perfect.
5. You couldn’t control your anger when you discovered your spouse had lied all these years.
6. Your spouse cheated on you.
7. Your parents urged you to marry your spouse.
8. You married because of lust not love.
9. You couldn’t bear all the burden together.
10. You never asked God about His opinion before you got married.
Divorce was not the original plan of God. When your marriage is tampered you begin to lose a sense of insecurity. Your whole life turns into a confused state. Sometimes you even regret being divorced.
Mark 10: 2-9 says,
The Pharisees came and asked Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife” testing Him. And He answered and said to them, ” What did Moses command you?”. They said,”Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to dismiss her.” And Jesus answered and said to them,”Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. “But from the beginning of the creation, God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh,’ so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. ” Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate. “
Now it is clear that the hardness of heart brings divorce. Again, if you are married never dwell under the wings of your parents, your marriage is now personal. Note, if God did not join both of you there is possibility of a break up. If God brought both of you together then you need to endure the hard times. No marriage is perfect.
Probably you have filed for divorce but I have some questions to ask you. What happened to the good times? Have you suddenly forgotten how you vowed that you will forever love your spouse? Did you suddenly forget the better side of your spouse? Those times that things were rough did you not praise your spouse’s efforts? Why the hatred? Are you sure your anger was not too much? Are you listening to friends or family to get a divorce? Is it because your spouse no longer satisfy you sexually? Is your spouse a smoker or a drug addict? Was your spouse convicted for a serious crime? Did you put into consideration the effect it will have on your children if you seek divorce? Or there is someone else telling you to quit your spouse promising you heaven and earth. Probably your spouse’s job is affecting your relationship. Your spouse drinks a lot and comes back late at night. No respect for your parents. What are your reasons?
Your reasons are good enough for you to seek divorce but have you given it a second thought to pray for your spouse, to give your spouse a second chance? Do you think you have no fault of yours.? You think you have reached your limits? I want to remind you that love has no limits, its accommodates the good, bad and ugly situations.
Go to a serene atmosphere and calm your nerves. Refresh your mind. Swallow your pride. Let go the fury. Breath in a fresh breathe of life. Allow your heart to think properly. Stop listening to the horrible voice that tells you to destroy your spouse’s reputation. Think, just think for a moment.
Call your spouse and say “it’s OK”. Tell your spouse you have forgiven. Give assurance that you meant what you said. Withdraw the divorce and never give room for the devil to tamper with your marriage. To divorce is not fun and you cannot have your life back if you do so.
No matter the issue, quarrel, misunderstanding or fight, there is nothing that can never be settled. Marriage is to be enjoyed not endured. Make your marriage enjoyable.