I know for sure I may not be in your condition to ascertain your plight. I know I might not be in the right position to understand what you are passing through. One thing I can boldly say is that your situation is not the worst because your best is yet to come.
Job 14:1 says, Man who is born of woman is of few days and full of trouble”.
Job was in trouble when he wrote his story. He was facing a serious challenge that could take his life. The worst disease on earth came upon him, his children died within a second, his prosperity turned into poverty. A man that was the greatest of all the people suddenly became the beggar in town. He was rejected, abandoned, criticized, humiliated and uncared for. His condition was deplorable and pathetic. God was testing him while the devil was tempting him. If there is no test, there will be no testimony. No temptation, no exaltation.
I want to put it to you that anything that has made you suffer does not make you the worst person. Someone somewhere has suffered the same fate and turned it into a success story. When you are dealing with a critical situation in your life try to reframe, look at the situation from different angles. Don’t just look for the type that will support your ego; seek out perspectives from the Scripture and how you will overcome. Synthesize everything you know of your situation into a complete picture of what God can do at the moment.
You have to revise yourself to control the situation and not the situation controlling you. Stop complaining, stop discussing the situation to anyone you see, stop magnifying it as if God does not know what is happening, stop murmuring, stop being unnecessarily angry, stop thinking of suicide.
Whatever you are going through is just for a while it will fizzle out. Hang on, never quit, a new dawn is about to come.
1 Peter 5:10 says, “But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen and settle you”.
In case you don’t know, God is about to settle your case. You are too anointed to be disappointed.
God is working out something just make sure you are not found wanting. Shalom.